Between the Rage and Grace Read online

  When Maggie made her appearance Clara informed her “I’ll take Linda and the guy in #3, you can take rooms 4 and 5.”

  “Look at my little Clara taking charge. I love it.” Maggie smiled, “How are Jim and the folks?”

  “Their all good, thank you. How are you and I mean really, how are you?” Clara asked looking at her intently.

  “I have to admit I’m weary sweet pea. I’d really like to get drunk and screw something.”

  “Maggie! I can’t believe you said that.” Clara said with her hand to her mouth and half a smile.

  “You asked – I told you. Okay, I just said screw something to shock you.”

  The nurses were giggling when the gentleman in room #4 yelled “Shut my door or shut your mouth. All that damn giggling is getting on my nerves. I’m a heart patient ya know.” Maggie scurried to the door apologizing, “I’m sorry sir. I have reprimanded the student nurse and it will not happen again. Can I get you anything, a sleeping pill maybe?”

  By the time she left the room the man was as happy as a clam and thought Maggie could do no wrong.

  “You are such a liar.” Clara mouthed just below a whisper. “I know.” Maggie mouthed back.

  With two patients each they didn’t have a lot of free time but they managed small conversations to brighten the lackluster night.

  “It’s hard for you to be quiet, isn’t it?” Clara asked as they stood over the medication cart. Maggie in turn made a zipping motion across her lips, walked over to the census board and scribbled in large letters HELL YES!!! Clara ran into the storage closet to relieve herself of a giggle attack. When she returned she saw Maggie speaking to a lady.

  Their demeanors were enough to sober Clara and remind her that this wasn’t the place to play. That’s what Mrs. O’Bromley would say if Clara got out of hand when serious business was called for.

  Maggie and the lady walked toward Clara with all the weight of a funeral march.

  “Clara” Maggie announced, “This is Ms. Latrull, Linda’s mother.”

  Chapter 19

  The Seer

  Ms. Latrull gasped when Clara reached to shake her hand and stepped back.

  “Are you okay?” Clara asked as the woman’s eyes widened. Ms. Latrull didn’t answer but continued to gawk at Clara. “I’m Linda’s nurse” she assured her, “I’m sure you have questions. We should talk before you go in to see your daughter.” Ms. Latrull didn’t move and stood speechless with her arms crossed beneath her shawl.

  Clara looked at Maggie for a clue of some sort not knowing how to deal with the lady.

  Maggie shrugged her shoulders and went back to what ever she was doing, anything to avoid the stand off. She wasn’t sure she could talk to the woman without judging the way she had left her daughter alone and five hundred miles from home. Maggie knew enough of the story to believe that Linda’s mother had abandoned her long before she had moved to Texas; they had that much in common.

  “Come and sit down.” Clara told the estranged mother putting her hand on her shoulder to guide her. Again Ms. Latrull stepped back but this time speaking, “No lady! I don’t need you looking at me from da inside.”

  “Excuse me?” Clara replied.

  “You know my Mucalinda?” she asked.

  “Who?” Clara inquired and Maggie told her “She is referring to Linda – it’s a long story.”

  “Yes, I know Linda. She is…was my supervisor.” Clara told her.

  “Wat does she tink of you looking into her tawts?”

  “Tawts?” Clara asked looking at Maggie who replied “Thoughts.”

  “Oh okay. I have no idea what you are talking about.” Clara admitted.

  The call light went off in room #3 and Clara told the lady “Excuse me I need to check on another patient.”

  “Uh- uh” Maggie grunted, “You stay with Madam Latrull I’ll cover #3.”

  The strange accent, the paranoia and now Maggie calling Ms. Latrull madam it was all too confusing to Clara. “Please have a seat ma’am and let’s go over the release forms at least.” Clara pressed with obvious annoyance.

  Ms. Latrull took a seat beside Clara at the nurse’s station as Clara went over her daughter’s medical records.

  Ms. Latrull looked at Clara with fright filled haunting eyes and forced herself to ask,

  “Did she say why? Did you see da reason dat made her do it?”

  “She left a letter but it really doesn’t say that much. You’re welcome to see it if you like.”

  “Wat did you see lady?” Ms. Latrull asked mournfully.

  “I saw the letter. I wasn’t there when she- when it happened.” Clara told her

  “Wat have you seen since she come to you?” the woman urged.

  Clara sat frustrated for a moment trying to find the words or a way to make the lady understand what she was trying to tell her. That Linda was alone when she had tried to kill herself and had been unconscious since.

  “You don’t know do you?” Ms. Latrull asked.

  “No I don’t. That’s what I am trying to explain. The reason behind her suicide attempt remains a mystery.”

  “Not dat. You don’t know you can see, do ya?”

  “Umm, yea I see fine.” Clara said.

  Maggie could hear every word being exchanged in the small unit and was snickering.

  “I’m sorry Miss Turner were you saying something?” Clara snapped.

  “No dear.” Maggie quickly responded, without the snicker.

  “Maybe Mucalinda has told you I am crazy. Maybe you girls know dat a demon turned her head. But to help her I must know da cause of her sorrow.”

  Maggie wanted to yell at the woman, tell her to look in the mirror and she could see the cause but she kept her mouth shut and her eyes turned away.

  “You can see.” The woman told Clara, “If I let you look inside me will you den look inside Mucalinda? I am begging.” Ms. Latrull put her hand on Clara’s and dropped to her knees crying “I open my mind to you to see inside da darkest parts of my heart Seer of da soul. See me.”

  Clara yanked the woman up from the floor, shhh and looked around for Maggie. The door to room #3 was closed and she was alone to deal with this mad woman with a strange Caribbean southern country accent.

  “Let’s just sign the release papers Ms. Latrull.” Clara said laying pen and paper before the woman.

  “I can not.” She replied.

  “Yes you can” Clara argued “just put you signature on the line highlighted in yellow!”

  She grabbed the woman’s hand as if to force her to sign the document when the flicker of light ruptured her train of thought and a voice bellowed Levi Turner. An image flashed of Ms. Latrull as a young lady crying with a baby on her hip. The man was speaking to her, telling her he was sorry… he could never come back. My wife has a baby now and she knows he said as he handed her an envelope thick with cash and told her to make her own way. Another flash and the lady was buying an old dilapidated store, paying in cash and telling the infant we’ll be okay now Mucalinda. The mans wife came…threatened to burn the shop and the baby if she ever spoke the father’s name…

  Clara slouched back in her chair spent from the emotions. She wasn’t aware that she had been speaking aloud of the things that she saw. She wasn’t aware either that Maggie was standing right beside her.

  “Clara. Clara.” Maggie’s voice sounded so far away as it snapped its fingers and called to her. Despite her efforts the stunned cognizant nurse couldn’t force her mind to relay the fact that she was completely aware of her surroundings while she sat wide eyed and staring at nothing in front of her. Maggie repeated the snapping in an effort to draw her out but what Clara heard sounded more like the echo of a ticking clock.

  “Clara? … Honey… are you in there?”

  “I hear you.” she finally told her, batting her eyes as if to clear an irritating rouge lash.

  “Get out of her face!” Maggie yelled at Ms. Latrull, “Give her some room for Pete’s sake.�
�� And turning her focus back to Clara she asked, “Are you okay?”

  Clara nodded slowly depleted of vigor by the years of anguish that flooded her suddenly and without warning. None of it was her own sorrow but her flesh could not discern the difference.

  Ms. Latrull continued to gape at Clara though she had allowed more distance she was still close enough that Clara could feel the hot air coming from her nostrils with each labored exhalation.

  “I told you to get out of her face dammit! Why are you sniffing at her like a starving hound? Good lord woman you are every bit as strange as Linda said you were.” Maggie growled.

  Ms. Latrull unhurriedly turned her gaze to Maggie to find her staring with huge eyes as if mocking her. Feeling she deserved every ounce of scorn and punishment she sat motionless while her daughter’s only comrade lit into her with a vengeance.

  “Are you going to sign the blasted forms so we can get your daughter to a facility that can give her the help she needs or are you gonna tell me she deserves it because she’s got a poltergeist shoved up her ass?” Maggie yelled pushing the document in Ms. Latrull’s face, “This is the least you could do for her. Don’t pretend to give a damn, just sign the papers and leave. You do it or I swear to God I’ll sign your name myself. I don’t know why Linda would have ever listed you as a contact on anything since you washed your hands of her a long time ago.”

  Ms. Latrull took the tongue lashing and only spoke after Maggie had quieted down.

  “I do not pretend. I have worried and prayed for my Mucalinda every day of her life. It is only for her dat I have done da tings dat she has told you of. You are right to be angry wit me. Mucalinda is your spirit kin even more dan she is to da flesh. I need to reach her now and I cannot… she has made herself invisible to my eyes. But if dis lady will help me.”

  She said nodding toward Clara.

  “I can’t do it.” Clara muttered, “I don’t want to… it is too hard. I feel like I’ve been run over by a cement truck.”

  “I can show you how to separate from it” The desperate mother told Clara, “so you see da tings but not feel dem.”

  “It’s time to make rounds.” Maggie interjected patting Clara on the shoulder, “Let’s leave Ms. Latrull to do what she came for, sign the papers and get on back to Louisiana.”

  The two left Ms. Latrull sitting hunkered over the documents that would give them permission to transfer her child to a larger facility that was better equipped to handle long term needs.

  Maggie made certain the outspoken gentleman with cardiomyopathy was resting peacefully in room #4 as well as the alcoholic in room #5 with the critical electrolyte imbalance.

  Clara’s post op patient in room #3 was stable and would probably transfer to the med/surg unit in the morning. The patient in room #6 should have transferred to the same unit days ago but was allowed preferential treatment because of who she was, a fallen comrade.

  Clara eased the door open to room #6 and stealthily slipped in hoping the visitor wouldn’t notice. After the redundant examination she bent down and whispered, “Your mom is here.” While she explored the limbs and face for a clue that her words had not fallen on empty space, the mechanical guard hanging on the wall stood watch attached by electrical lines to Linda that never alerted Clara to any change. “So you don’t hear me or you don’t care- either way… but you’re healing nicely. That is good news, at least to me it is.”

  Clara jumped when Ms. Latrull whispered, “You have to see it as a movie. Doz tings dat play out before da eye are only pictures, day do not belong to you. It is only a show `bout some one else… wit you watching.”

  She spun around to find that she and Linda were the only one’s present in the dim space and marched out to confront the trespasser.

  “Stay out of my head!” Clara said as she glared down at Madam Latrull who in turn was smiling. “You can do dis.” She told the juvenile seer, “You are but a baby in da mysteries of da mind, but you are ready.”

  Clara gazed deep into the ladies caramel colored eyes pitying the secrets she had been forced to keep for so long and wondering if Linda had heard the name of her father evoked earlier.

  “She heard.” Ms. Latrull informed her aloud, “Give her time to seine de tings she has heard and to be rid of da sorrow dat has grown tick in her heart. She too is alone in da journey to da place dat we all seek.”

  “Why?” Clara asked without speaking, “Why did you let Linda think that she could not come home even after she had left the sinister man? Why did you let her wander alone through the wilderness?”

  “Because we must all muddle tru our own dark alleys to find dat place in da light.” The madam continued to speak her thoughts audibly where they could be heard by any one listening and hoping that her daughter might understand that a day had not passed where she didn’t listen for a call or a night that she hadn’t looked at the empty sofa longing for her little girl.

  “Talking to yours self now? Hmm, why does that not surprise me.” Maggie spoke deridingly to Linda’s mother.

  Clara let the insult stand, not ready to explain that Maggie had heard only one side of the conversation.

  Maggie glanced over the woman’s shoulder to see that the forms had still not been signed. “I’ll sign the damn things.” Maggie told her. Yanking the pages from the counter she looked at the name printed on the form MARY MAGDALENE LATRULL.

  “Why a witch would be given a Christian name is beyond me!” she exclaimed as she started to scribble out the forgery.

  Ms. Latrull gently placed her hand between the fountain pen and the legal authorization and told Maggie, “I will do it… but on one condition.”

  What’s that, two toads and a lizards tongue in exchange?” Maggie shot back.

  “No.” she answered, “After Clara speaks to her, Mucalinda will say.”

  Maggie looked at Clara with disbelief. “Did you just hear what she said? Oh my gosh she thinks Linda will tell you something. Open the door and let her see what use to be her daughter.” Maggie leapt up and flung the door open so the fluorescent light spilled across the patient’s bed illuminating her tranquil face. “Let her see the vegetable that is laying there just waiting for a chance to sing the star spangled banner. Hark! Is that her calling out to us now? Yes it is- I think she said she wants a tuna fish sandwich.”

  Clara looked sternly at Maggie letting her know that her behavior, her hateful sarcasm had gone beyond the limit but Maggie was not swayed by the glare and aimed at Clara.

  “You are letting this woman get to you. Hell, she has got you feeling sorry for her doesn’t she? Well don’t! And don’t let the adulterous wench talk you into looking at Linda’s psyche.”

  “You know-” Clara started to ask but Maggie answered before she could finish.

  “Yeah, I’m starting to believe there is something to these weird staring fits you have.”

  “Not that.” Clara replied.

  The unit was filled with a heavy silence. Clara and Maggie studied and appraised one another’s expressions while Ms. Latrull sat with her chin to her chest in shame.

  “Do you know-” Clara started again in a calculated tone.

  “Do I know that she is a man stealing whore and that her bastard child is my sister? Well not until a few minutes ago but yeah I can put two and two together. I am not a total idiot but don’t you dare ask me what I think about this shit because I don’t know yet.”

  Clara wanted to make peace between the women as she looked at Ms. Latrull’s bowed head and without trying she heard her heart saying,

  Dat she devil took him from me an knowing he had a child on da way she got herself wit child…. My Mucalinda came first.

  She then tried to tune into Maggie who was straining to hold onto the flames of her temper like a crutch to get her through this without falling apart but a fiery wall is all that Clara could see.

  Ms. Latrull warily raised her head and peered in the direction of the open door. From where she was seated she could see
the silent silhouette of her daughter. With her heart racing she braced her legs for the journey; there were no oils or incantations to give her what she needed to face the child she had sorely disappointed.

  Clara watched as she rose and forced herself forward with all of the courage she possessed. Maggie stirred and started in the same direction but Clara smiled warmly and shook her head mouthing wait, to her surprise Maggie obliged.

  The two watched as Ms. Latrull cagily entered the room and listened as the first muted sobs erupted. They could hear the maternal figure pleading softly for her offspring to forgive her, to understand and to wake up but the child remained soundless.

  Clara walked over and quietly closed the door to allow the family a bit of privacy when she did Maggie flipped on the video monitor and stared keenly at the black and white image of Ms. Latrull mothering the still comatose Linda.

  Clara whispered “You should be ashamed of yourself.”

  “Well I’m not.” Maggie declared, “I don’t trust that woman. Do you?”

  Clara was contemplating her answer when a knock at the door interrupted them.

  “You get it.” Maggie ordered as if it were punishment for her treason.

  Clara didn’t argue but walked to the door which was rarely locked and opening it asked,

  “Can I help you?”

  “Hello Clara.” The lady replied.

  Clara could not remember the middle aged woman’s name but recalled that she was Mrs. Levine’s daughter.

  “I think I left a cashmere sweater in here the night mother-” the woman choked, “uh-umm, the night mother passed away.”

  “Oh, is that yours?” Clara asked referring to the beautiful knee length sweater currently hanging in the nurse’s locker room.

  “Is it beige with coral buttons?” The lady asked.

  “Yes. I’ll get it for you. Wait right here.”

  Clara returned with the sweater and handing it to its rightful owner asked,

  “What brings you out at this wee hour?”

  The lady began to choke up again as she struggled to explain that her husband was in the Emergency Room with chest pain.